


We're not lovers, we're just strangers

by Buttercup_ghost



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Break Up, Cheating, Child Neglect, Dysfunctional Family, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/F, I wrote this on a whim and didn't know where it was going so shrug, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Girl Marco Diaz, Trans Marco, Trans Marco Diaz, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, idk what to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 17:43:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12113910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buttercup_ghost/pseuds/Buttercup_ghost
Summary: With the same damn hungerTo be touchedTo be lovedTo feel anything at all.(Things get complicated.)





	We're not lovers, we're just strangers

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gay 4 jackie

She sighed, looking into her green, blue eyes, a mix of the colors; aqua. She almost seemed like a reflection of herself, in a way, just a bit off. Everything was just a bit off.

Staring. They were staring. 

"Star."

"Jackie."

Breathless—that's what they were. Almost sorrowful. 

Jackies chapstick lingered on her swollen lips, the flavor sweet but indefinable. Regret, star realized, was in her eyes, her voice grave, wen star had barely managed to speak. It felt like the air in her lungs was wheezed out, stolen. Her heart ached, and she wasn't sure why.

"I'm- Jackie, I'm-"

She couldn't say she was sorry, because she wasn't. 

"Forget it, star. Forget this ever happened."

(She couldn't.)

 

 

 

"Star?" their voice cracked, almost adorably, genuine concern creeping in, making her feel guilty.

"y-yeah?" Her voice cracked as well, but not from concern.

"You've been in there for a while."

She was curled up in the bathroom, and wanted nothing more than to cry. She wanted to scream, to wail and sob and throw a tantrum to get what she wanted, but she didn't. She couldn't. It wouldn't work, anyways, marco was different than the servants running around the castles, being paid to deal with her because her parents were to busy—or maybe just didn't care. Maybe marco wouldn't care, either, instead just leaving her to wallow, leaving someone else to take care of it, of _her_ , as if she was a problem that needed to be taken care of. Perhaps she was. Instead of sobbing, she forced out an _I'm_ _fine_ , convincing marco to leave.

(She didn't want them to leave.)

 

 

 

She couldn't stand this. She couldn't stand this. Seeing them together tore her in half, a uncomfortable feeling resting in her chest. She wished she was happy for them. She _should_ be happy for them. But looking at them felt _wrong_ , fundamentally wrong in _so many ways._

She wanted to be there with them.

But she wasn't.

(She wasn't needed here.)

 

 

 

When marco comes to her, nervous, she's both relieved and terrified. It's the first time in a while they've wanted to just _talk_ with her, but she can't help the fear, the beat beat beat of her heart asking, _do they know?_

Its nothing of the sort, marco only came in to tell her she's a girl.

She already figured that out.

(She figured out everything about marco.)

 

 

 

"I think..." Jackie starts, "I think we should talk." It's the first words she's said to her since the kiss.

"We're.. we're friends, yeah, star? Nothing more."

Thats all the warning she gets before Jackie lips slam onto hers.

"This.. this doesn't mean anything." Jackie says, voice horse, before her lips met hers again.

(She can feel her heart breaking in two, but she still melts into the kiss.)

 

 

 

It strikes her, one day.

She loves them.

She wants them to love her. She wants to be loved. She wants someone to see her for her, to listen to her, to put up with her, to not brush her off all the time, saying she was to dumb, not responsible enough, too much like _herself_ to be of use.

(She wants to be of use.)

 

 

 

What is it like to dedicate yourself to someone, she wonders. She remembers a girl with red glasses and braces, a smile on her face as she squished her cheeks and proudly proclaimed that star was her crush, during that sleepover that feels so long ago. She wonders where she is now, that girl who devoted herself to her, that girl she only knew as starfan13, and nothing else.

She wonders if she felt like she does, back then. She wonders if she still feels that way.

Did she devote herself completely, love so much that she even forgot her own name, or was star just a distraction, just someone to take her mind off of her issues?

(...was she still talking about starfan13?)

 

 

She wanted to be with both of them. She didn't want to be left out, left behind. 

It's another truth or dare game that gets it out, spilling over like a bath full of Rose colored water, sented to sweet to be real. 

(She's so afraid they'll hate her.)

 

 

 

 

Jackie cries. Everything that she had kept hidden in a box of secrets being laid bare, exposed. 

"I love you, I love you, _I love you.._ " those kisses— how could they have ment nothing?

(They meant everything, to both of them.)

 

 

 

 

 

Jackie kisses her.

Marco doesn't.

(She doesn't kiss anyone anymore.)


End file.
